When I moved here a month and a half ago my whole body was aching for everything that is New York. I had such a great time here in the spring that I couldn't imagine it being any other way. And it isn't. It is great. It's just different. I've never been happier in a workplace than where I am now. I feel like I'm appreciated and needed and I'm learning something new everyday. It's priceless. And when I'm not at work I'm having the time of my life. Making new friends, spending all my money on nights out instead of food, being dumb and naive. Which is exactly what I want to be. I love everything with what I am experiencing right now and I know that I will look back on it and think of it as the time of my life. But it's strange being as big of a home body as I am when you haven't actually been home for over two years. I miss my family, I miss my friends. I miss Stockholm and all it's cold darkness. And it confuses me a little. Being able to live and work in New York is my dream and now I'm here, living my dream, and I'm thinking about leaving it?
I honestly don't think there is anything you grow more from than moving abroad alone. Being on your own, starting from zero. And I've done that. Twice. But I also think there is something even more impressive in saying, OK now it's time to go home. To have tired and be honest with yourself if it doesn't feel right. I'm not saying that yet, but I kind of have a weird feeling in my body that tells me I will soon. We'll see what happens when my internship is over. Maybe then it's time to go home. I don't know. I'm stressing myself out and that needs to stop. Because even if it's important to do whatever feels right to you, it's also important to live now and not always plan ahead and be such a control freak.
Does anyone recognize themselves in this? I would love to hear some of your stories on it if you want to share in the comments. You've proven to be a pretty rad and supportive group of people so <3