May 30th: In the Mornings

     I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I usually don’t feel great in the mornings. Anxiety about leaving bed, not wanting to get dressed and fry those damn eggs. But today, I actually wanted to. I took a shower, did my skincare routine and felt, you know, light. I feel like taking care of your skin could count as therapy. Apply moisturizer in circular motion and as it absorbs, let your problems go.
     Then I got dressed. Comfortable in jeans and oversized shirt, but with uncomfortable loafers because I can’t let myself go too much. I also put on a pair of earrings to make me look like an ultimate mix of a 13 year old boy and a 60 year old lady. It’s a look that works really well for me. I also think it’s the perfect way to describe my personality. Naive, silly, a little bad, but also very responsible, put together and so wise you’d think I’d lived through hell and more.
     Isn’t it funny how we sometimes wake up with this weight in our heads, in our hearts. And some days we feel perfectly fine. Even good. Mornings are really weird for me. It’s like I haven’t felt the vibe of the day yet. Is it raining or is it clear skies? Will I drop my deodorant in the toilet or will I pull off the perfect cat eye? You know, there’s so much to be decided. Usually I don’t like it, especially when I have to get out of bed. On weekends on the other hand it’s fine, because then I can chill and take my time. But because of this, days like this one, when the first scroll through instagram feels inspiring and the makeup turns out great and the eggs are perfect sunny side up and I’m ready to go 10 minutes earlier than usual, then I wonder why I ever feel heavy and as if I have a black cloud above my head.
     So as I walk out the door, I cross my fingers. Please may I not step in dog shit.

 

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